Diane Kalas, Inspirational Historical Romance Author

“But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all thy works." Psalm 73:28 (KJV)






Saturday, September 8, 2012

19th CENTURY ETIQUETTE-BEHAVIOR AT PARTIES, TIME TO GO, LADY OF THE HOUSE, TAKING LEAVE

Diane's Antique Book Collection

Management and behavior at parties and other entertainments; who may be invited.- Persons absolutely and generally objectionable will not be invited; but mere personal quarrels cannot be regarded, as one may be on the most friendly terms with two persons, who, from some cause, are at enmity with each other.

            A lady invited to a party may be accompanied by a gentleman who has no invitation, but who is welcomed upon her introduction. This rule, however, does not work both ways, as a gentleman cannot thus introduce a lady.

 Time to go, and manner of entering the room.- The usual time for going to a party in the country is from seven to eight o’clock, in the cities an hour later. The mistress of the house, or the lady giving the party, should remain at the head of the principal apartment until the guests have generally arrived, and then mix with her company, attending to every body’s comfort.

            After leaving the carriage, the gentleman conducts the lady in his charge to the door of the ladies’ dressing-room, while he goes to the gentlemen’s apartment, each to prepare their toilet suitably to entering the reception room. The lady waits at the door of her dressing-room till the gentleman joins her, and they make their entrĂ©e together.

Treatment of the lady of the house.- When a gentleman and lady, or either separately, enter a drawing-room, they should salute all generally, by a respectful inclination of the head, and make their way immediately to the lady of the house, whom they should salute cordially, congratulate her upon her good health and looks, and with a few words additional pass on, in order to make room for the succeeding guests who may wish to address her.
 
Taking leave.- It is not proper to withdraw abruptly in the midst of a conversation, but to wait until the subject in which you are engaged shall be finished; you then salute only the person with whom you have been talking, and depart without taking leave of any one, not even the gentleman and lady of the house.

 
Thornwell, Emily, THE LADY’S GUIDE TO COMPLETE ETIQUETTE, New York, Belford, Clarke & Company, 1884

1 comment:

Mocha with Linda said...

Interesting that you depart without telling the host and hostess goodbye!

It amused me that it said to "congratulate" the lady of the house on her good health and looks rather than compliment her.

It's always fun to read all of their rules -- and how they word them!