Diane Kalas, Inspirational Historical Romance Author

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success." Quote by Henry David Thoreau




Saturday, November 24, 2012

19th CENTURY ETIQUETTE: UNDUE PRETENSIONS TO LEARNING


Diane's Antique Book Collection


The Art of Conversing with Fluency and Propriety

Undue Pretensions to Learning.- Avoid even the appearance of pedantry. If you are conversing with persons of very limited attainments, you will make yourself far more acceptable, as well as useful to them, by accommodating yourself to their capacities, than by compelling them to listen to what they cannot understand. Possibly in some instances you may make them stare at your supposed wisdom, and perhaps they may even quote you as an oracle of learning; but it is much more probable than even they will smile at such an exhibition as a contemptible weakness.

            With the intelligent and discerning, this effect will certainly be produced; and that whether your pretensions to learning are well founded or not; the simple fact that you aim to appear learned, that you deal much in allusion to the classics, or the various departments of science, with an evident intention to display your familiarity with them, will be more intolerable than absolute ignorance.
 

Thornwell, Emily, THE LADY’S GUIDE TO COMPLETE ETIQUETTE, New York, Belford, Clarke & Company, 1884

 

Saturday, November 17, 2012

19th CENTURY ETIQUETTE-TALKING EXCESSIVELY

Diane's Antique Book Collection (a few)


 The Art of Conversing with Fluency and Propriety

Talking excessively.-Beware of talking too much; if you do not talk to the purpose, the less you say the better; but even if you do, and if, withal, you are gifted with the best powers of conversation, it will be wise for you to guard against excessive loquacity. By this, we do not advise you to yield to a prudish reserve; but even that would scarcely be a more offensive extreme than to monopolize the conversation of a whole circle.

 
Thornwell, Emily, THE LADY’S GUIDE TO COMPLETE ETIQUETTE, New York, Belford, Clarke & Company, 1884




Saturday, November 10, 2012

19th CENTURY ETIQUETTE - DECEPTIVE REMARKS AND REPRESENTATIONS

Diane's Antique Book Collection (just a few)

The Art of Conversing with Fluency and Propriety

 Against deceptive remarks and representations.- Much of the civility of fashionable life savors strongly of deception. We refer not only to the habit which some ladies have of sending word to visitors that they are not at home, when they are only engaged, but to the painful regrets, that are often expressed at the distance between calls; to the unspeakable joy which is manifested on meeting a fashionable acquaintance; to the earnest importunity that is exhibited for early visits, when the truth is, in each case, that the real feeling is that of absolute indifference. Guard against duplicity in all its forms. Rely upon it, it is not necessary to true politeness.

 

Thornwell, Emily, THE LADY’S GUIDE TO COMPLETE ETIQUETTE, New York, Belford, Clarke & Company, 1884

Saturday, November 3, 2012

19th CENTURY ETIQUETTE - HOW TO ADDRESS YOUNG GENTLEMEN

Diane's Antique Book Collection


 The Art of Conversing with Fluency and Propriety

 How to address young gentleman.- Do not be tempted to indulge in another proof of feminine indecorum, which may be countenanced, but can never be sanctioned by example; that of addressing young gentlemen of your acquaintance, who are unconnected with you, by their Christian names. It opens the way to unpleasant familiarities on their part, more effectually than you can well imagine, unless you have been taught the painful lesson by the imprudence of a friend.

Thornwell, Emily, THE LADY’S GUIDE TO COMPLETE ETIQUETTE, New York, Belford, Clarke & Company, 1884