Diane Kalas, Inspirational Historical Romance Author

“But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all thy works." Psalm 73:28 (KJV)






Friday, March 29, 2013

19th CENTURY ETIQUETTE - INVITATION TO OPERA OR CONCERT

Diane's Antique Book Collection


ETIQUETTE OF PUBLIC PLACES

Invitation to Opera or Concert.- A gentleman upon inviting a lady to accompany him to opera, theatre, concert or other public place of amusement must send his invitation the previous day and write it in the third person. The lady must reply immediately, so that if she declines there will yet be time for the gentleman to secure another companion. 

            It is the gentleman’s duty to secure good seats for the entertainment, or else he or his companion may be obliged to take up with seats where they can neither see nor hear.

Wells, A. M., Richard A., MANNERS, CULTURE AND DRESS, Massachusetts, King, Richardson & Company Publishers, 1893

 

19th CENTURY ETIQUETTE - CONDUCT IN OPERA, THEATRE, OR PUBLIC HALL

Diane's Antique Book Collection

ETIQUETTE OF PUBLIC PLACES

 Conduct in Opera, Theatre, or Public Hall.- On entering the hall, theatre or opera-house the gentleman should walk side by side with his companion unless the aisle is too narrow, in which case he should precede her. Reaching the seats, he should allow her to take the inner one, assuming the outer one himself.

            A gentleman should on no account leave the lady’s side from the beginning to the close of the performance.

            If it is a promenade concert or opera, the lady may be invited to promenade during the intermission. If she declines, the gentleman must retain his position by her side.

            The custom of going out alone between the acts to visit the refreshment-room cannot be too strongly reprehended. It is little less than an insult to the lady.

            There is no obligation whatever upon a gentleman to give up his seat to a lady. On the contrary, his duty is solely to the lady whom he accompanies. He must remain beside her during the evening to converse with her between the acts and to render her assistance in case of accident or disturbance.

            It is proper and desirable that the actors be applauded when they deserve it. It is their only means of knowing whether they are giving satisfaction.

            During the performance complete quiet should be preserved, that the audience may not be prevented seeing or hearing. Between the acts it is perfectly proper to converse, but it should be in a low tone, so as not to attract attention. Neither should one whisper. There should be no loud talking, boisterous laughter, violent gestures, lover-like demonstrations or anything in manners or speech to attract the attention of others.
 
            The gentleman should see that the lady is provided with programme, and with libretto also if they are attending opera.

            The gentleman should ask permission to call upon the lady on the following day, which permission she should grant; and if she be a person of delicacy and tact, she will make him feel that he has conferred a real pleasure upon her by his invitation. Even if she finds occasion for criticism in the performance, she should be lenient in this respect and seek for points to praise instead, that he may not feel regret at taking her to an entertainment which has proved unworthy.

            If the means of the gentleman warrant him in so doing, he should call for his companion in a carriage. This is especially necessary if the evening is stormy. He should call sufficiently early to allow them to reach their destination before the performance commences. It is unjust to the whole audience to come in late and make a disturbance in obtaining seats.
 
            In passing out at the close of the performance the gentleman should precede the lady, and there should be no crowding and pushing.

 Wells, A. M., Richard A., MANNERS, CULTURE AND DRESS, Massachusetts, King, Richardson & Company Publishers, 1893

 

 

Friday, March 22, 2013

19th CENTURY ETIQUETTE - CHURCH ETIQUETTE

Diane's Antique Book Collection

ETIQUETTE OF PUBLIC PLACES

 Introduction: The perfect lady and gentleman are always polite in public places, considerate of the comfort and wishes of others, and unobtrusive in their behavior. Under the same circumstances sham gentility is boisterous, rude, vulgar, and selfish.

Church Etiquette.- One should preserve the utmost silence and decorum in church.

There should be no haste in passing up or down the aisle.

A gentleman should remove his hat as soon as he enters.

A gentleman and lady should pass up the aisle together until the pew is reached, when the former should step before the latter, open the pew door, holding it open while she enters, then follow her and close the door after him.

There should be no whispering, laughing, or staring.

If a stranger is seen to enter the church, and the sexton does not at once provide him with a seat, the pew door should be opened and the stranger silently invited to enter.

It is courteous to see that strangers are provided with books; and if the service is strange to them, the places for the day’s reading should be indicated.

 It is perfectly proper to offer to share the prayer or hymn book with a stranger if there is no separate book for his use.

If books or fans are passed in church, let them be offered and accepted or refused with a silent gesture of acceptance or refusal.

Upon entering a strange church it is best to wait until the sexton conducts you to a seat. By no means enter an occupied pew uninvited.

In visiting a church of a different belief from your own, pay the utmost respect to the services and conform in all things to the observances of the church – that is, kneel, sit and rise with the congregation. No matter how grotesquely some of the forms and observances may strike you, let no smile or contemptuous remark indicate the fact while in the church.

If a Protestant gentleman accompanies a lady who is a Roman Catholic to her own church, it is an act of courtesy to offer the holy water. This he must do with his ungloved right hand.

When the services are concluded, there should be no haste in crowding up the aisle, but the departure should be conducted quietly and in order. When the vestibule is reached, it is allowable to exchange greetings with friends, but here there should be no loud talking nor boisterous laughter. Neither should gentlemen congregate in knots in the vestibule or upon the steps of the church and compel ladies to run the gauntlet of their eyes and tongues.

Never be late to church. It is a decided mark of ill-breeding.

In visiting a church for the mere purpose of seeing the edifice, one should always go at a time when there are no services being held. If people are even then found at their devotions, as is apt to be the case in Roman Catholic churches especially, the demeanor of the visitor should be respectful and subdued and his voice low, so that he may not disturb them.

Wells, A. M., Richard A., MANNERS, CULTURE AND DRESS, Massachusetts, King, Richardson & Company Publishers, 1893

 

Friday, March 15, 2013

19th CENTURY ETIQUETTE - CONSULTING THE COMFORT OF OTHERS & ATTENDING TO THE WANTS OF OTHERS


Diane's Antique Book Collection

TRAVELERS AND TRAVELING

Consulting the Comfort of Others.- In the cars you have no right to keep a window open for your accommodation, if the current of air thus produced annoys or endangers the health of another. There are a sufficient number of discomforts in traveling, at best, and it should be the aim of each passenger to lesson them as much as possible, and to cheerfully bear his own part. Life is a journey, and we are all fellow-travelers.

 Attending to the wants of others.- See everywhere and at all times that ladies and elderly people have their wants supplied before you think of your own. Nor is there need for unmanly haste and pushing in entering or leaving cars or boats. There is always time enough allowed for each passenger to enter in a gentlemanly manner and with a due regard to the rights of others.

            If, in riding in the street cars or crossing a ferry, your friend insists upon paying for you, permit him to do so without serious remonstrance. You can return the favor at some other time.

 Wells, A. M., Richard A., MANNERS, CULTURE AND DRESS, Massachusetts, King, Richardson & Company Publishers, 1893

 

Friday, March 8, 2013

19th CENTURY ETIQUETTE - SELFISHNESS OF LADIES

Diane's Antique Book Collection

TRAVELERS AND TRAVELING

Selfishness of Ladies.- Ladies in traveling should scrupulously avoid monopolizing, to the exclusion of others, whatever conveniences are provided for their use. Mr. Pullman, the inventor of the palace car, was asked why there were not locks or bolts upon the ladies’ dressing rooms. He replied that “If these were furnished, but two or three ladies in sleeping cars would be able to avail themselves of the conveniences, for these would lock themselves in and perform their toilette at their leisure.

            This sounds like satire upon our American ladies, but we fear it is true.

Wells, A. M., Richard A., MANNERS, CULTURE AND DRESS, Massachusetts, King, Richardson & Company Publishers, 1893

 

Friday, March 1, 2013

19th CENTURY ETIQUETTE - DUTY OF LADIES TO OTHER LADIES

Diane's Antique Book Collection

TRAVELERS AND TRAVELING

 Duty of Ladies to other Ladies in Traveling.- It is especially the duty of ladies to look after other ladies younger or less experienced than themselves who may be traveling without escort, to watch these and see that they are not made the dupes of villains, and to pass a pleasant word with others who may possibly feel the loneliness of their situation, should be the especial charge of every lady of experience. Such a one may often have the privilege of rending another lady an important service in giving her information or advice, or even assistance. Every lady of experience and self-possession should feel her duties to be only less than those of a gentleman in showing favors to the more helpless and less experienced of her own sex.

The friendship which has subsisted between travelers terminates with the journey. When you get out, a word, a bow, and the acquaintance formed is finished and forgotten.

Wells, A. M., Richard A., MANNERS, CULTURE AND DRESS, Massachusetts, King, Richardson & Company Publishers, 1893