Diane Kalas, Inspirational Historical Romance Author

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success." Quote by Henry David Thoreau




Saturday, February 23, 2013

19th CENTURY ETIQUETTE - CHECKING FAMILIARITY

Diane's Antique Book Collection


TRAVELERS AND TRAVELING

 Checking Familiarity.- It is impossible to dwell too strongly upon the importance of reserve and discretion on the part of  ladies traveling alone. They may, as has been already said, accept slight services courteously proffered by strangers, but any attempt at familiarity must be checked, and this with all the less hesitation that no gentleman will be guilty of such familiarity; and a lady wants only gentlemen for her acquaintances.

Once, when traveling from Chicago to Toledo, there were upon the same train with ourselves a young lady and gentleman who were soon the observed of all observers. He was a commercial traveler of some sort, and she probably just from boarding school. They were total strangers to each other as they both entered the car at Chicago. The acquaintance began soon after starting. By the time L Porte was reached he had taken his seat beside her. At Elkhart the personal history of each was known to the other. The gentleman here invited the lady to supper and paid her bill. Shortly afterward photographs were exchanged, they had written confidentially in each other’s note-books, and had promised to correspond. All this passed between them in tones so loud and with actions so obtrusive that they attracted the notice of every one in the car, and many were the comments upon them. As daylight waned she sunk upon his shoulder to sleep while he threw his arm around her to support her. If they had announced their engagement and inquired for a clergyman upon the train to marry them upon their arrival at Toledo, no one would have been really surprised. She was a foolish girl, yet old enough to have known better. He must have been a villain thus to take advantage of her silliness.

Still, if the journey is long, and especially if it be by steamboat a certain sociability is in order, and a married lady or lady of middle age should make good use of her privileges in this respect.
 

Wells, A. M., Richard A., MANNERS, CULTURE AND DRESS, Massachusetts, King, Richardson & Company Publishers, 1893

 

Friday, February 15, 2013

19th CENTURY ETIQUETTE - ON STREET CARS & FERRY-BOATS


Diane's Antique Book Collection

TRAVELERS AND TRAVELING

 Etiquette of Street Cars. – In the street cars case is different. No woman should be permitted to stand while there is a seat occupied by a man. The inconvenience to the man will be temporary and trifling at the most, and he can well afford to suffer it rather than do an uncourteous act.

 Etiquette of Ferry-boats.- There is a place where the good manners of men seem sometimes to forsake them- in the ladies’ saloon of ferry-boats. The men reign paramount in their own saloon. No woman dares intrude there, still less deprive its rightful occupants of their seats. Yet many men, without even the excuse of being escorts of women, preferring the purer natural and moral atmosphere of the ladies’ saloon, take possession and seat themselves, notwithstanding, women, have to stand in consequence. This is not a matter of politeness alone; it is one of simple justice. The ladies’ saloon is for the accommodation of ladies, and no gentleman has the right to occupy a seat so long as a lady is unprovided.

Wells, A. M., Richard A., MANNERS, CULTURE AND DRESS, Massachusetts, King, Richardson & Company Publishers, 1893

     

 

 

Saturday, February 9, 2013

19th CENTURY ETIQUETTE - RETAINING A SEAT

Diane's Antique Book Collection

TRAVELERS AND TRAVELING

Retaining a Seat.- A gentleman in traveling may take possession of a seat and then go to purchase tickets or look after baggage, leaving the seat in charge of a companion or depositing traveling-bag or overcoat upon it to show that it is engaged. A gentleman cannot, however, in justice, vacate his seat to take another in the smoking-car and at the same time reserve his rights to the first seat. He pays for but one seat, and by taking another he forfeits the first.

            It is not required of a gentleman in a railway car to relinquish his seat in favor of a lady, though a gentleman of genuine breeding will do so rather than allow the lady to stand or to suffer inconvenience from poor accommodations.

Well, A. M., Richard A., MANNERS, CULTURE AND DRESS, Massachusetts, King, Richardson & Company Publishers, 1893

Saturday, February 2, 2013

19th CENTURY ETIQUETTE - SOCIAL INTERCOURSE WHILE TRAVELING & OCCUPYING TOO MANY SEATS

Diane's Antique Book Collection

TRAVELERS AND TRAVELING

Social Intercourse While Traveling.- Social intercourse while traveling is one of its main attractions. Who would care about sitting and moping for a dozen of hours on board a steamer without exchanging a word with anybody? And this must be the fate of the exclusives when they travel alone. Even ladies who run greater risks in forming steamboat acquaintances than the men, are allowed the greatest privileges in that respect. It might not be exactly correct for a lady to make a speaking acquaintance of a gentleman; but she may address or question him for the time being without impropriety.

Occupying Too Many Seats.- No lady of genuine breeding will retain possession of more than her rightful seat in a crowded car. When others are looking for accommodations, she should at once and with all cheerfulness so dispose of her baggage that the seat beside her will be at liberty for any one who desires it, no matter how agreeable it might be to retain possession of it.

            There is no truer sign of want of proper manners than to see two ladies turn over the seat in front of them and fill it with their wraps and bundles, retaining it in spite of the entreating or remonstrating looks of fellow-passengers. In such a case as this any person who needs a seat is justified in reversing the back, removing the baggage and taking possession of the unused place.

Wells, A. M., Richard A., MANNERS, CULTURE AND DRESS, Massachusetts, King, Richardson & Company Publishers, 1893